Had two haematology clinic visits since the last blog entry. The conclusion is that the septicaemia was caused by 'translocation' (Prof's word for this process) of bugs from the colon to the blood stream and that the GvHD needs to be better controlled to prevent this. The steroids and ciclosporin have both been increased slightly a week last Thursday and the new doses have been maintained this week.
Prof doesn't want to see me for a fortnight, yes a fortnight, which is a big psychological step. Up until now there have been weekly or twice weekly visits since the transplant eight months ago. Hopefully this is the start of less dependence on the hospital. However the road to recovery is full of twists and turns so anything could happen and probably will.
At the most recent mindfulness session we talked about recovery. We are a mixed group with all different types of cancer. They decided that most of us are physically unlikely to get back to how we were before the cancer and that even if we did so then from the psychological point of view we will be different because of the whole traumatic experience. We are all moving towards a 'new normal' but in view of the bumps in the road to recovery it may be sometime before the 'new normal' emerges.
Fatigue is still a big problem and making plans is an act of faith. Friday should have been a day of gentle walking in Clumber Park in north Notts but I awoke feeling very tired and with a slight temperature so that was the end of that. Today I'm OK again, don't know why, that's just how it is! Very frustrating, grrrr! Nevertheless we are going to make some plans for the summer and hope for the best.
* Opening line of the Four Quartets, TS Eliot
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