Two days ago I was back in DCU and had a unit of platelets. Back again this morning for more platelets and a unit of whole blood. The staff there are truly excellent and the atmosphere is always friendly and positive. Nothing ever seems too much trouble even when they are run off their feet. It was very busy, a backlog from Christmas I suppose although they only closed for one or two extra days.
My weight has fallen a little more then went up a little bit yesterday. I'm hoping it will plateau. I've seen this quite often in cancer, maybe I'll be lucky! Walking and balance are becoming an increasing problem. I stumbled yesterday and was lucky not to hurt myself. I now walk with two sticks but still feel unsteady, The leukaemia seems to be advancing very quickly.
Yesterday we've saw the GP and district nurse at home. I have developed a bit of an infection - cough, sore throat etc - so am now on different treatment for the next week.
The district nurse has organised a bed downstairs and it arrived late yesterday afternoon together with other bits of equipment. I think I will need the bed very soon. The system has been incredibly quick at getting things done, a really impressive service.
My mind has accepted what is happening but my heart is an altogether more mysterious organ and is taking its time. Emotionally I'm 'ok' as in I'm coping but that's not the same as acceptance. A hug and a little cry with Karine every now and then through the day is a big help and brings a sense of relief and calm - precious moments. In my darker moments I don't think I'll make the end of the month, at other times I don't worry about it, anything could happen and what does happen probably won't be what I expect or was worrying about!
I came across a saying quoted by a fellow sufferer on the Macmillan cancer site - "Worrying does not take away tomorrow's troubles, it takes away today's peace".
Fairport Convention - 'Unhalfbricking' - track 6
No comments:
Post a Comment